The Bunny Visited Our House...

Yep. Good 'ol Easter Bunny visited our house. And, there's that toxic brown stuff (I'm meaning Chocolate, of course!) EVERYWHERE!

Even I made out like a bandit ~ my inlaws, my grandparents... they all like to give me chocolate. And, who am I to refuse, right?

Except that I've been eating it. I should've thrown it out. I've *thought* about throwing it out. But, I keep thinking, "So long as I eat it only when my stomach is empty, I can keep it". Well, AM I eating it only when my stomach is empty? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I've not been exercising. I've not been getting in my daily water requirement. And, I've basically not been following my plan AT ALL. But, that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it! LOL.

I keep wanting to go outside and run... with the weather warming up, and the days being sunnier, I've been craving that run. But, I have been too chicken to try it, yet. I keep making excuses... the biggest one being that I've not exercised (formally) in about 5 weeks, so I am not really in the shape I need to be in to take up running ~ right? Or, do you think I could just get out there and start, regardless? I would be doing intervals of walking & jogging... but do you think I should work my way *up* to that, walking (only) first? That was the original game plan, until I fell off my horse. LOL

Ah well. My motivation is slowly returning. Must keep fighting for this... "I think I can, I think I can, I KNOW I can..."! ;-P

Blech...

I don't have much to write, today, except that I've been "off my wagon". I haven't done anything at all towards my "plan", lately.

But, I've been reading, and I found a good book that might help. We'll see. I'll share with you, later, how it works. ;o)

Just over 2 months

Since I restarted working on things on January 7th of this year, it's been just over 2 months. But, I can't really count the last week or two, I don't think -- I've become complacent again, almost not caring whether I change or stay the same.

My attitude has taken a nose-dive. I've tried to remain positive, but it's getting harder. I haven't been exercising (although, I did do a 2 mile walk on Monday, and intend to do another today), and I've not been getting in my water, fruits or veggies. I've basically let everything slide.

It's not that I don't want to change... I REALLY, REALLY do! And, I'm not sure why I've gotten into such a funk. I know I've been suffering from depression, but I'm not sure of the cause of that... I thought it was Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I got some Vitamin D3 capsules to take. But, even taking those, I'm still suffering from the blues. Even when the sun is shining bright outside, I can be feeling so down that I wanna cry. :-(

Ah well. I'm not giving up. Yesterday I got 2 magazines in the mail (SHAPE and Runner's World), and they reminded me of why I want to work on things -- I want to be thinner, fit, healthier, stronger, and more confident, and I want to take up running to feel that sense of empowerment it brings from knowing I'm strong enough to do such a thing. :-?

So, we'll keep trying. Off to do my workout...

A new month, new goals

I amaze myself. Today, for one of my online groups, I tallied how many minutes of exercise I did in February. First, I have to tell you that I'd set my MARCH goal as 660 minutes, firguring that would be an increase. Well, then I tally up February, and find out that I did a total of 665 minutes! LOL. So, I think I'll have to re-think my March goals! LOL :-P

I also hope to change things up a bit. Up until now (since January 7th, anyway), my focus has been on exercising. I figured that, if I built up my muscle first, the weight would fall off easier, 'cause muscle burns more, right? But, I'm not losing much. I *did* lose another 1/2 inch in both my waist and my biceps this past month, so THAT'S good news! But, I am not losing weight. Sure, the scale isn't a good way to judge that. I am probably building muscle. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have built at least *some*, as I can see the definition in my thighs and calves a bit, again. :-) But, I want that darn number on the scale to go DOWN, please & thank you! :-?

SO, long-story-shorter, I'm planning on putting more focus on the eating side of things for March, while still continuing to exercise. I want to eat half of what I've *been* eating, and remember, more often, to PRAY when tempted to eat outside of true hunger. I need to pray, too, when tempted to eat more than I actually need. I've been too "greedy" for more than my body needs, so that's probably the reason I haven't lost any weight.

My goal? To lose 6 pounds in March. That's doable, I think. And, it will take me out of the range I'm in... a much-welcomed thought! ;o)

OVERALL, though, I'm still aiming to just be healthier. So, no more of this letting silly little "obstacles" get in my way... onward to health!

Gotta fight for it

This week has been a struggle. I weighed-in on Saturday, and instead of the loss I'd been expecting / hoping for, I found I'd maintained. Which *should* be a good thing, right? But, not for me this week ... not after I'd worked my butt off, and got 4 out of 5 "green dot" stickers (as opposed to the previous week's complete "yellow-dot" parade).

I've been bumming about this since Saturday. And, as such, I've been struggling to get in my water, my exercise, my fruits & my veggies. And, to make matters worse, hubby's back on Afternoon-shift, so my "routines" are all screwed up again. :-(

Mind you, I did step on the scale for a peek, yesterday morning, and saw that one pound had disappeared since Saturday, sooooo.... :-?

Hmmm. Speaking of weigh-ins, I am going to stop posting about whether or not I'm up, down, or maintaining (this will be my last post on that). It's a personal thing / reason, so please forgive me for having to let that part of my check-ins go. I'll continue to check in and update you on how I'm doing with following the tenets of my "plan", though. ;o)

As of this moment, I'm worn-out, hitting a dip in the road, but still fighting for my "vision"... I have to remember to "think positive", and keep "pressing on". I was reminded of a quote, this morning, that says something about not being able to accomplish something / not being able to reach a goal by just thinking about it. So true. So, no more "wishing for" myself to be thin...and back to WORKING AT being healthier (AND thinner)! ;o)

Fighting for my vision

I have a "vision" of the person I'd like to be when this is all done (not that this journey will ever be DONE... this is a LIFETIME thing, right?...so I just mean, when I get to my "goal", and then keep doing what I'm doing to maintain that). And, that 'vision' has kept me going on more than one occasion when I've felt like giving in. But, I'm slowly learning that, sometimes, I can't trust my feelings -- sometimes I have to "do it anyway", even when I don't feel like it, because it's GOOD for me, and it will help me reach my goals if I don't give up.

Last Saturday's WI showed that I maintained. But, you know, that's okay. I'd much rather that than a gain! ;-P

And, I set a new "mini-goal" for this week ... to have ALL "green dot days":

(To remind you what that means...
GREEN DOT sticker = stuck to my plan all day
YELLOW DOT sticker = gave it about 50%; could've done better
PINK DOT sticker = threw it all to the wind; didn't care
...Thanks to Linda Spangle of Weight Loss Joy for this tracking method! Love it!)

So far, Sunday through today (Wednesday), I've gotten one Yellow Dot, and two Green Dots ... so, we're hanging in there! I'm on track, too, for today to be another Green Dot day! ;o)

I have a calendar posted on the wall in my bedroom where I put these colored dot stickers. That way I can see my progress in a "visual" -- I can see when I've had too many "yellows", and when I need to put more effort into getting those "greens" (pun intended). ;-P

I'm gonna be that skinny (and HEALTHY!) gal I'm aiming for ... slowly, but surely, I'll get there.

To Fast, or Not to Fast???

Last Saturday's WI showed I'd gone up 2 lbs, so I'm working harder this week to make sure I have those gone again.

But, it's not looking promising. I can't seem to stop snacking in the afternoons, and that drives me batty! Yes, sometimes I'm hungry, so I *need* to snack. But, most of the time, I KNOW I'm not hungry, yet I snack anyway.

I've sat down with a paper & pen to try to figure out *why* I do this -- why I eat in the afternoons, hungry or not. And, the only thing I can "see" is that I'm "bored".

I read a great piece of advice in my most recent (March 2008) issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine, the other day. It was an article by Geneen Roth, and it talked about overeating. She recommended that you sit down and ask yourself WHY you think you overeat. Then you need to find something to "substitute" for that emotion; find something to distract yourself. Well, for me -- since boredom seems to be the reason I snack/overeat mid-afternoon -- I could always be more diligent in my job search, as having a job would certainly erase my boredom! LOL. ;o)

I have considered, lately, "fasting" every afternoon. Since overeating is basically the "sin of gluttony", then it makes sense to "fast" when I'm in danger of eating for reasons OTHER than true hunger -- give those times to God, instead.... right? I have wanted to substitute an afternoon "tea time" instead of actual food, so this "fasting" would fit. I could allow myself only decaf. teas or water in the afternoons.

But, I wonder if this would backfire on me -- make me feel deprived, cause me to think of being under "restriction"? Hmmm...

Gotta try it to know for sure! And, if the "fasting" doesn't work, I'll have to go back to the drawing board and think of something else.

Anyone have any suggestions about how to avoid mid-day snacking? I've already tried distracting myself by doing crafts (scrapbooking), playing online (sometimes works), reading (never works), calling people (no one is ever home when I call!), etc. I can't go outside for a walk, yet, as it's still too cold. :-? I'm running out of ideas. :-?