I Press On...

Struggling

2008-04-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

I am still not doing really well. Mind you, I've done better on keeping up with my housework ((grin)), but not so much with watching my eating / health. And it's the latter that I'm more concerned about, really.

I have to rethink how I'm doing things, maybe 'try something new'. What I'm doing isn't working, obviously... and, that's mostly a "mind" thing, more than it is a "logistics" thing. So, I've got to do some serious thinking. LOL

Ran across an interesting website / idea... still looking into it.

Continuing to Start

2008-04-02T06:38:00.000-07:00

I keep having to start over. But, according to a book I read, recently, starting over is the key to lasting success.

March was a wash. I didn't do much of anything toward my weight-loss goals, or even my healthy living goals. In fact, I didn't do much of anything, period! I fell behind on housework, and everything. All due to being in a sort of mini-depression.

Praise the Lord, I feel I'm pulling out of it. The warmer weather, and increased amount of sunshine definitely helps! ;o)

For April, I'm planning to start again... really start back into focusing. I'm going to start my walk-jog interval program, and I want to get back to regular (daily) exercise and water-intake. I also need to be more diligent with following my hunger signals. I've let that go, too.

The Easter chocolate is almost gone (thank goodness!), and I'm only one pound up for it. A blessing, that is!

So, here's to a new month and a chance to start again!

The Bunny Visited Our House...

2008-03-27T06:38:00.000-07:00

Yep. Good 'ol Easter Bunny visited our house. And, there's that toxic brown stuff (I'm meaning Chocolate, of course!) EVERYWHERE!

Even I made out like a bandit ~ my inlaws, my grandparents... they all like to give me chocolate. And, who am I to refuse, right?

Except that I've been eating it. I should've thrown it out. I've *thought* about throwing it out. But, I keep thinking, "So long as I eat it only when my stomach is empty, I can keep it". Well, AM I eating it only when my stomach is empty? Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

I've not been exercising. I've not been getting in my daily water requirement. And, I've basically not been following my plan AT ALL. But, that doesn't mean I'm not thinking about it! LOL.

I keep wanting to go outside and run... with the weather warming up, and the days being sunnier, I've been craving that run. But, I have been too chicken to try it, yet. I keep making excuses... the biggest one being that I've not exercised (formally) in about 5 weeks, so I am not really in the shape I need to be in to take up running ~ right? Or, do you think I could just get out there and start, regardless? I would be doing intervals of walking & jogging... but do you think I should work my way *up* to that, walking (only) first? That was the original game plan, until I fell off my horse. LOL

Ah well. My motivation is slowly returning. Must keep fighting for this... "I think I can, I think I can, I KNOW I can..."! ;-P

Blech...

2008-03-20T07:55:00.000-07:00

I don't have much to write, today, except that I've been "off my wagon". I haven't done anything at all towards my "plan", lately.

But, I've been reading, and I found a good book that might help. We'll see. I'll share with you, later, how it works. ;o)

Just over 2 months

2008-03-12T07:36:00.000-07:00

Since I restarted working on things on January 7th of this year, it's been just over 2 months. But, I can't really count the last week or two, I don't think -- I've become complacent again, almost not caring whether I change or stay the same.

My attitude has taken a nose-dive. I've tried to remain positive, but it's getting harder. I haven't been exercising (although, I did do a 2 mile walk on Monday, and intend to do another today), and I've not been getting in my water, fruits or veggies. I've basically let everything slide.

It's not that I don't want to change... I REALLY, REALLY do! And, I'm not sure why I've gotten into such a funk. I know I've been suffering from depression, but I'm not sure of the cause of that... I thought it was Seasonal Affective Disorder, so I got some Vitamin D3 capsules to take. But, even taking those, I'm still suffering from the blues. Even when the sun is shining bright outside, I can be feeling so down that I wanna cry. :-(

Ah well. I'm not giving up. Yesterday I got 2 magazines in the mail (SHAPE and Runner's World), and they reminded me of why I want to work on things -- I want to be thinner, fit, healthier, stronger, and more confident, and I want to take up running to feel that sense of empowerment it brings from knowing I'm strong enough to do such a thing. :-?

So, we'll keep trying. Off to do my workout...

A new month, new goals

2008-03-03T06:34:00.000-08:00

I amaze myself. Today, for one of my online groups, I tallied how many minutes of exercise I did in February. First, I have to tell you that I'd set my MARCH goal as 660 minutes, firguring that would be an increase. Well, then I tally up February, and find out that I did a total of 665 minutes! LOL. So, I think I'll have to re-think my March goals! LOL :-P

I also hope to change things up a bit. Up until now (since January 7th, anyway), my focus has been on exercising. I figured that, if I built up my muscle first, the weight would fall off easier, 'cause muscle burns more, right? But, I'm not losing much. I *did* lose another 1/2 inch in both my waist and my biceps this past month, so THAT'S good news! But, I am not losing weight. Sure, the scale isn't a good way to judge that. I am probably building muscle. In fact, I'm pretty sure I have built at least *some*, as I can see the definition in my thighs and calves a bit, again. :-) But, I want that darn number on the scale to go DOWN, please & thank you! :-?

SO, long-story-shorter, I'm planning on putting more focus on the eating side of things for March, while still continuing to exercise. I want to eat half of what I've *been* eating, and remember, more often, to PRAY when tempted to eat outside of true hunger. I need to pray, too, when tempted to eat more than I actually need. I've been too "greedy" for more than my body needs, so that's probably the reason I haven't lost any weight.

My goal? To lose 6 pounds in March. That's doable, I think. And, it will take me out of the range I'm in... a much-welcomed thought! ;o)

OVERALL, though, I'm still aiming to just be healthier. So, no more of this letting silly little "obstacles" get in my way... onward to health!

Gotta fight for it

2008-02-27T07:31:00.000-08:00

This week has been a struggle. I weighed-in on Saturday, and instead of the loss I'd been expecting / hoping for, I found I'd maintained. Which *should* be a good thing, right? But, not for me this week ... not after I'd worked my butt off, and got 4 out of 5 "green dot" stickers (as opposed to the previous week's complete "yellow-dot" parade).

I've been bumming about this since Saturday. And, as such, I've been struggling to get in my water, my exercise, my fruits & my veggies. And, to make matters worse, hubby's back on Afternoon-shift, so my "routines" are all screwed up again. :-(

Mind you, I did step on the scale for a peek, yesterday morning, and saw that one pound had disappeared since Saturday, sooooo.... :-?

Hmmm. Speaking of weigh-ins, I am going to stop posting about whether or not I'm up, down, or maintaining (this will be my last post on that). It's a personal thing / reason, so please forgive me for having to let that part of my check-ins go. I'll continue to check in and update you on how I'm doing with following the tenets of my "plan", though. ;o)

As of this moment, I'm worn-out, hitting a dip in the road, but still fighting for my "vision"... I have to remember to "think positive", and keep "pressing on". I was reminded of a quote, this morning, that says something about not being able to accomplish something / not being able to reach a goal by just thinking about it. So true. So, no more "wishing for" myself to be thin...and back to WORKING AT being healthier (AND thinner)! ;o)

Fighting for my vision

2008-02-20T09:01:00.000-08:00

I have a "vision" of the person I'd like to be when this is all done (not that this journey will ever be DONE... this is a LIFETIME thing, right?...so I just mean, when I get to my "goal", and then keep doing what I'm doing to maintain that). And, that 'vision' has kept me going on more than one occasion when I've felt like giving in. But, I'm slowly learning that, sometimes, I can't trust my feelings -- sometimes I have to "do it anyway", even when I don't feel like it, because it's GOOD for me, and it will help me reach my goals if I don't give up.

Last Saturday's WI showed that I maintained. But, you know, that's okay. I'd much rather that than a gain! ;-P

And, I set a new "mini-goal" for this week ... to have ALL "green dot days":

(To remind you what that means...
GREEN DOT sticker = stuck to my plan all day
YELLOW DOT sticker = gave it about 50%; could've done better
PINK DOT sticker = threw it all to the wind; didn't care
...Thanks to Linda Spangle of Weight Loss Joy for this tracking method! Love it!)

So far, Sunday through today (Wednesday), I've gotten one Yellow Dot, and two Green Dots ... so, we're hanging in there! I'm on track, too, for today to be another Green Dot day! ;o)

I have a calendar posted on the wall in my bedroom where I put these colored dot stickers. That way I can see my progress in a "visual" -- I can see when I've had too many "yellows", and when I need to put more effort into getting those "greens" (pun intended). ;-P

I'm gonna be that skinny (and HEALTHY!) gal I'm aiming for ... slowly, but surely, I'll get there.

To Fast, or Not to Fast???

2008-02-14T06:47:00.000-08:00

Last Saturday's WI showed I'd gone up 2 lbs, so I'm working harder this week to make sure I have those gone again.

But, it's not looking promising. I can't seem to stop snacking in the afternoons, and that drives me batty! Yes, sometimes I'm hungry, so I *need* to snack. But, most of the time, I KNOW I'm not hungry, yet I snack anyway.

I've sat down with a paper & pen to try to figure out *why* I do this -- why I eat in the afternoons, hungry or not. And, the only thing I can "see" is that I'm "bored".

I read a great piece of advice in my most recent (March 2008) issue of Good Housekeeping Magazine, the other day. It was an article by Geneen Roth, and it talked about overeating. She recommended that you sit down and ask yourself WHY you think you overeat. Then you need to find something to "substitute" for that emotion; find something to distract yourself. Well, for me -- since boredom seems to be the reason I snack/overeat mid-afternoon -- I could always be more diligent in my job search, as having a job would certainly erase my boredom! LOL. ;o)

I have considered, lately, "fasting" every afternoon. Since overeating is basically the "sin of gluttony", then it makes sense to "fast" when I'm in danger of eating for reasons OTHER than true hunger -- give those times to God, instead.... right? I have wanted to substitute an afternoon "tea time" instead of actual food, so this "fasting" would fit. I could allow myself only decaf. teas or water in the afternoons.

But, I wonder if this would backfire on me -- make me feel deprived, cause me to think of being under "restriction"? Hmmm...

Gotta try it to know for sure! And, if the "fasting" doesn't work, I'll have to go back to the drawing board and think of something else.

Anyone have any suggestions about how to avoid mid-day snacking? I've already tried distracting myself by doing crafts (scrapbooking), playing online (sometimes works), reading (never works), calling people (no one is ever home when I call!), etc. I can't go outside for a walk, yet, as it's still too cold. :-? I'm running out of ideas. :-?

Speculation...

2008-02-10T07:30:00.000-08:00

I have recently had a revelation that may explain my recent troubles with sticking to my plan...

I've known, for the past several years, that I suffer from Seasonal Affective Disorder. But, just this week, it popped into my head (thanks to a comment from a family member), that maybe taking Vitamin D supplements would help with the symptoms:

irritability

mild depression

fatigue

inability to sleep through the night

social withdrawl

cravings for sweets & carbs (and resulting weight gain)

lack of energy

loss of interest in normal activities

All of these are triggered by long periods without sunshine.

For me, I start to dip into this "moodiness" by about late November, early December, and it lasts until Spring. The intensity varies. But, come Spring, and the increase in sunny days, my mood shoots right through the roof!

So, the other day, I bought some Vitamin D supplements, and I'm going to see if it does anything for me. I can't afford the "light therapy" (via "Light Boxes"), so the supplements are my next-best-thing.

I am trying this because, for the past little while, I've suffered from mild depression, cravings for the sweets & carbs, major fatigue, etc... basically, all of the "symptoms" listed above. :-? And, it's interfering with my "get healthy" plans. I hardly exercised this past week, and I didn't eat proper or drink my water. Therefore, I put back on 2 of the pounds I'd lost. Not fun. I've even been to the point where I've been near-tears throughout my workouts! :-(

Anyway. I'll keep you posted on how this works out for me. I'm really praying it works, 'cause I'm tired of being "blue" just because of the weather! :-? I want my energy back. This S.A.D. has really been interfering with my life, lately (and not just in relation to my weight-loss ~ it also has affected my housework, and such), so I really need it "taken care of".

Slippery days

2008-02-06T06:29:00.000-08:00

The past week-and-a-half has been rough going. I've not gotten in the amounts of water, fruits, and veggies that I'm "supposed" to, per my plan, and my exercise has been lagging, too. Part of this is due to the weather, part due to my routines being messed up (long story), and part is just due to plain old laziness.

When you boil it down, it's no one's fault but my own. The previous paragraph (above) is full of blame -- the weather, circumstances. But, it's still MY CHOICE whether I let those things interfere with my weight-loss/health goals! I'm the one who's chosen to reach for things *other* than water, fruits & veggies. I'm the one who hasn't exercised on certain days 'cause I was "too tired". I'm the one who has let my moodiness dictate how I act. :-?

Things must change.

But, see, this is ALREADY change! If I can SEE that the blame can only fall on myself, and if I can SEE that I need to push past the excuses and Just Do It, then I've already come a LONG way from where I used to be! I used to blame everything and everyone but myself, and honestly believed that it was true -- it was all "their" fault! LOL

Now I know, though, that it's no one's fault but my own.

Today is Ash Wednesday, which means that, for Catholics (of which I am NOT one), the Lenten season begins. People are giving up things that mean a great deal to them for the next 40 days in order to give more importance to God. I have tried to take part in this season of sacrifice for the past several years, even though I'm not Catholic, because I just think it's a good idea. It's a worthwhile thing to do. Last year, I gave up pop for the 40 days, and did okay with that. There were a couple of instances where I'd "forgotten" until afterward. But, I had *honestly* forgotten, so it wasn't like I'd done it on purpose.

This year, I'm struggling to think of what I'd sacrifice. Pop? Chocolate? Caffeine, in general? There are lots of options! But, choosing one is difficult. And, my time is up: I have to decide TODAY, if I'm going to participate! BUT, I read, last year, that you're not supposed to tell anyone what you're sacrificing, 'cause it defeats the purpose. So, you'll just have to be left in the dark on that one. LOL

Oh... I suppose I should metion about my weigh-in last Saturday. I maintained. Better than a gain, yes, but not where I was hoping to be. Doesn't surprise me, though, given the way I've been going, lately.

Nevertheless, I'm still pushing on. I may be "blue" and flailing, but I'm treading along, and will get to my destination, eventually. Progress -- not perfection! ;o)

Coming Along

2008-01-30T06:24:00.001-08:00

Last Saturday's WI showed another 2 lbs gone, for a total of 5 lbs lost! Something's working!

I've not done *as well* this week -- three times I gave in to the offer of a can of Coke, and twice I gave in to the craving for Reese PB Cups. And, I've not had my fruit & veggies, or all of my water. I *have* stuck with getting in my workouts, so far, though. I will keep that up, too. It really helps, and I'm progressing.

I've gotten to the point where 1-mile feels not at ALL like a workout -- it's too easy! LOL. And, the 3-mile is now doable a few times a week. So, we're getting there...things are coming along. ;o)

I am really glad that I put together my *own* plan. I don't think I could last on a "diet" made by someone else. I need to do my own thing. And, when people have offered advice (friends & family), I have just nodded, said nothing, and continued to believe in my plan. I think that's part of what's making the difference -- I'm not willing to let other people's opinions get in my way. I'm not "chasing rabbits", so-to-speak. ;o)

So, here's to 5 lbs gone, and all of their friends yet to follow! Whoo!

Crazy thinking

2008-01-23T13:24:00.000-08:00

Today I was thinking about my goals -- why I am trying to lose weight and get fit, and what I want to do once I've reached those goals.

Well, recently I visited the local gym, and was talking with one of their personal trainers. And, I got this wacky idea in my head that maybe I'd like to BECOME a personal trainer (say WHAT?!). So, I asked the gal about this, and she recommended a website where you can get information on becoming certified. When I got home, I looked it up.

And, it turns out that it only takes about 25 hours of coursework, and then an exam. And, it doesn't cost more than about $400! So, I'm seriously considering it! LOL

BUT, I would need to be walking the walk before I even took the steps toward getting certified. So, I've put it on my list of "things I may do when I've lost the weight, and gotten healthy & fit". It's an interesting goal to reach for, certainly! I'd love to be able to help other people overcome their struggles with weight & eating! And, maybe --instead of being a Personal Trainer-- I would take the "Nutrition Wellness Specialist" course. That way I could focus more on nutrition instead of the fitness aspects. ;o)

Either way, I like this new idea ... I like the thought of helping others once I've reached a certain level, myself. :-)

Checking In... Progress!

2008-01-22T10:46:00.000-08:00

Finally -- FINALLY! -- I'm seeing some progress! I was getting so tired of having to come on here, and write about how I hadn't done anything towards my healthy-living goals, and how I was failing myself in that respect.

But, with the new year, comes renewed motivation, and a sense of determination. I'm sick of being lazy & unmotivated, and I'm tired of standing in my own way!

Hence why I've taken up a few of the following new "habits":

journaling my food intake

checking off things in my "log" when I complete part of my "plan" each day

logging my food intake & exercise at Nutrihand.com

posting to my online support group for accountability

And, all of it has greatly helped! I'm also working at keeping a positive attitude. There've been a couple of instances where I was tempted to hold a pity-party for myself --as I did in the "old days"-- when I didn't do things *exactly* as I had wanted to. But, i stopped myself, and I said, "Nope! We're gonna think positive! Negative thinking only puts me back where I don't wanna be!" And, I moved forward.

It has truly helped to really forgive myself for not doing things 100% perfect, and to just let it go, and move on to the next meal, or next moment, or next day, even. I have to keep reminding myself that it will take TIME to build these new habits into my life, and that it will take practice & patience & perseverance. So, I am sticking with it. ;)

I've exercised almost every day, and I'm doing much better at getting in my daily water (aiming for 40oz./day), and my daily fruits & veggies (at least 2 each).

I'm still working on the mid-afternoon snacking, though. It still is tripping me up a bit. I find that I *do* get hungry mid-afternoon (not just bored, as I'd originally thought), and yet I choose the "unhealthy" snacks, most of the time -- chocolate, cookies, ice cream. This week, I'm working /focusing on those snack-times...trying to choose fruit, or yogurt, or just a cup of green tea, instead. :)

Overall, I'm feeling good about this year. I really feel like this is going to be "my year"! I'm gonna kick this thing for once & for all! ;o)

First Week Finished

2008-01-12T10:21:00.000-08:00

I'm glad today is Saturday. My first full-week of exercise is completed, and I'm glad for the rest! ;o)

I feel good about how I did. I got in 4 days of exercise, and that's new for me! I wish it would've been 5, but I really needed to rest on Wednesday. My body was fatigued, and my legs were sore. They're just not used to this amount of activity, yet!

I am also happy with the amount of water I got in! I didn't get in the full 40oz. I was aiming for every day, but I came close most days. That's good enough -- it's PROGRESS!

My eating is still the issue. I feel like I ate within the hunger-fullness boundaries at each mealtime, but I'm probably fooling myself about dinners, as the scale didn't show any GOOD improvements today. :-? Mind you, that could have nothing to do with my mealtimes, and EVERYTHING to do with my outside-hunger snacking (on sweets, mostly!). That's where I always struggle.

I've been trying to get myself to reach for fruit -- a natural "sweet" -- in the afternoons, but I still want the chocolate. I feel somewhat "deprived" when I tell myself I can't have chocolate for my mid-afternoon snack. Trouble is, I'm never sure if I'm *truly* hungry at 3p.m., or if it's just habit. Hence why I'd like to stay away from eating sweets at that time, and choose fruit or veggies, instead.

When I lost the 25 lbs in 2005, I didn't snack in the afternoons at ALL! I had water to drink, then, and that was it. But, since then, I've come to wonder if maybe I *am* hungry -- at a "0" -- then. After all, I get the same urge for food EVERY day within the same time-frame (2-4 p.m.). I just have no clue. I've heard it said that you can "test" this by allowing yourself to have an Apple. If you don't want the apple, you're probably just eating from Emotions, not true hunger. Hmmm...

Anyway. I consider this past week a SUCCESS! I had more so-so days than on-track days, but that's still better than the "totally-OFF-track" days I had consistently before. And, if I keep pressing on, I'll get there, and see progress, eventually. ;o)

Tracking and Such

2008-01-12T10:13:00.000-08:00

Two things, today...

1) I have a new blog, where I'm posting my weekly progress. It's Invited Readers Only, so if you want an invite, please Email me, and ask. Note: It's not like this blog, where I give a detailed account of emotions & happenings. It's just a form (sort of) where I fill in how I've done with each of the aspects of my "plan" for losing weight & getting healthy... kind of like a "log"... for accountability.

2) I found a GREAT website, this past week, where you can track your food-intake, and exercise ... and, most of it is FREE! Check out Nutrihand.com. It's like FitDay.com, only better, IMHO.

Day 2 of Restart

2008-01-08T12:51:00.000-08:00

Well, I woke up today feeling majorly sluggish, and not wanting to do a thing. I thought (for only a minute), of giving up for just today... resting, and recouping. But, then I got my head back on straight, and said "Nuh-uh"...

I was again feeling lazy while checking emails, after taking the kids to the bus, and wanted to ignore exercise today. I figured I needed a day off... after all, it's been a while. Maybe I needed a day in between to rest. But, a wonderful accountability partner/friend sent me a link to a really motivating article, and voila! Renewed motivation to get going! I got off my butt, put on my workout clothes, and did a 2-mile walk! Yay for me! LOL (and, thank the Lord for good friends!)

I got in half of my water right after my walk. And, I ate between the hunger-fullness boundaries at both breakfast and lunch.

After lunch, though -- while reading my new book, "Chocolatherapy" -- things went downhill. I managed to avoid snacking at the mention of chocolate, and ice cream, and chips ... but, when she mentioned s'mores, I was long gone (a whoosh of material, as I ran to the kitchen). I had restrained myself, and had only one helping of "s'mores" (wasn't even REAL s'mores, as I didn't have the crackers, and had to substitute graham crumbs...how pathetic!)... but, later, when the kids got home, I made myself more of the fake-s'more concoction, and downed it quickly! :-(

Now I'm wondering if I'll be hungry for dinner. And, I'd had such great "plans" for tonight... eat very little at dinner in order to leave room for "dessert" when out at Bible study. Ugh.

So, now we'll have to reorganize our evening. Still will eat dinner, but may have to forgo the snacks at study. :-?

Tomorrow will be better.

---
PS... Yesterday ended up being a very good restart... Got in all my water (40oz.), did my 2-mile walk, ate 2 fruits, ate 2 veggies, stayed between hunger-fullness at meals, and had minimal caffeine. The "trouble" came when I snacked at night -- eating while watching TV, even though I wasn't hungry. Still a really good first day, though!

Re-Started today

2008-01-07T08:18:00.000-08:00

Well, so far, so good! I'd decided that today would be the day I recommit myself to putting 100% effort into losing weight & getting healthy. And, I've been working hard at it!

* I did a 2-mile walk
* I drank 1/2 of my water (20 oz.)
* I've eaten only when hungry (stomach empty!)
and
* I've stopped eating when I felt "satisfied", not stuffed

So, it's turning out to be a decent day. ;)

Let's just hope I can keep it up! I have written out a list of "benefits to putting 100% effort into losing weight & getting healthy", and I plan to review this whenever I feel like slacking off. I also found a great motivational website for when I'm feeling like nothing's working. Reading 'success stories' tends to get me going again -- it's just the 'boost' I need.

Here's to Looking Great in 2008! ;-)

LGC: Lost Track

2008-01-03T15:17:00.000-08:00

I have no clue what week I'm supposed to be writing about, but I do know that I've not posted in a while (too busy with the holidays), so I need to do some 'catching up'.

I gave up on trying to lose weight over the holidays; felt it was pointless, and resolved, instead, to just try to maintain.

Well, even though I gained a bit at the beginning (too many of my homemade chocolate-chip cookies, and too many boxed chocolates), I weighed myself again on New Year's Day, and found myself back to a regular weight (where I'd started before the Holidays). So, I'm pleased with that. Thank the Lord. ;)

For 2008, I've decided to make some real efforts! I'm "upping" my exercise from 3 days a week to 5 days a week, instead. And, I'm aiming to walk 3-4 miles instead of my usual 1-2. I'd also like to take up jogging!

For eating, I'm still working on "mindful, intuitive eating". I need to stop eating at random, and go back to eating ONLY when my stomach is totally empty. Water between meals worked well in the past, so that's my goal now, too.

I've planned not to start until Monday, though (January 7th). Reason being, the kids are still home, and my normal "routine" is still "off" until they go back to school. AND, I'm still "recouping" from the craziness of the holiday season. ;)

I'm not sure if I want to continue with the "Look Great in '08 Challenge". I suppose I can keep going until the deadline (now extended until February?), but after that -- if it starts over, or there's a new challenge -- I think I'm going to let it go. Much as I've GREATLY appreciated the supportive comments & encouragement from fellow challenge-members, I just find it too much to keep my blog updated on a weekly basis. I'd prefer to blog when the mood strikes. :-?

LGC: Week 12

2007-12-13T12:55:00.000-08:00

I just can't seem to be consistent. My exercise days are here and there, as are the days when I drink my water. I'm doing okay with my eating ... not stuffing myself, for the most part ... so that's good. When I'm not out and about, I do okay. It's the gatherings, where there are other people around, that I do really poorly with.

Even normal mealtimes are like that. I do excellent when I'm home alone. But, when the family is here, I find it more difficult to pay attention to my hunger signals.

Ah well. Still plugging.

I got a new workout DVD (Prevention's "Ultimate Walking Workout"), and it's pretty cool. I tried it out the other day. Will take a bit of practice to be more fluid with the movements (I'm never super-coordinated), but that's okay. It's a good cardio workout, so it's a nice compliment to the WAtP videos I already use. :o)

Speaking of which, I had intended to do a 3-4 mile walk today, but that didn't happen, as I ended up having company for a bit this afternoon. Ah well. There's still tomorrow. ;)

LGC: Week 11

2007-12-07T10:52:00.000-08:00

I don't have a lot to tell you. Things went from bad to worse. I've all but given up on getting healthier. But, don't you worry... I haven't given up, yet!

I am lucky to have some really good friends, and an awesome God. They helped me realize, just in the nick-of-time, what I need to do to stay focused on my goals. I need to 1) stop being so desperate about losing weight, and 2) let God change me in HIS time, instead of demanding that He "fix" me in the time-frame *I* set. ;)

So, back to basics... Move more! Eat less! Journal! ;-)

PS... I can't recommend the TALES FROM THE SCALES website highly enough... so often, when I've been having a hard time with this weight loss / getting healthy thing, I've popped in there to read the posts, and I've been encouraged and motivated to keep plugging away at things, little by little! The stories of how others are doing really inspire me... they show me that I'm not alone in this, and that it CAN be done!

LGC: Week 10

2007-11-27T12:55:00.000-08:00

I am pathetic. This week has been really rough, and not "committed" at all. I've been eating when not hungry, making excuses for not exercising, and forgetting to drink my water.

It started with my giving in to an offered can of Coke on the weekend... and then it snowballed to the point where I was acting out of old habits instead of from my new ones.

It didn't help that I ~~asked~~ begged my husband to buy a box of Chewy "Dipps" granola bars -- chocolate-covered goodness in peanut butter or caramel flavors!!! While it's got granola in it, it's basically a "healthier" chocolate bar. ;o) So, yeah -- been piggin' out on those. And, my friend had us over to her place on the weekend, and I totally pigged out on the snacks offered, too (she makes THE best caramel corn in the world!)

Anyhoo. I've been kind of "kicking myself" today, which I know doesn't help. BUt, I'm frustrated. I do so well -- and get so motivated! -- for a week or so, and then I crash and end up back where I started. Why can't it just STICK?! Why can't I get this??? =(

Ah well. I'm making the small effort to get back on track -- I didn't feel like exercising yesterday, but I "did it anyway"! I didn't feel like cleaning my son's room today, but I "did it anyway"! Now, if I could just use that logic for eating -- I don't feel like avoiding the chocolate, but for my health I'll "do it anyway"! ;-P LOL.

On to another week! (Pray for me, as we're going to a friend's on the weekend, and there'll be tons of food & munchies!)

LGC: Week 9

2007-11-20T11:46:00.000-08:00

I have to say what an amazing difference a good dose of motivation can make! This past week, I quickly read through my new book, "100 Days of Weight Loss" by Linda Spangle, and I got so entirely psyched up and rarin' to go! The book has 100 "days" of motivational tips, ranging from "Interested or Committed?" (examining whether you have the perseverance you need to stick to your plan) to "What is Emotional Eating?", to "The Eating Pause" (explaining how most people pause in their eating when they've reached their point of 'satisfaction'). This book just makes a lot of sense.

And, the cool thing is, it ISN'T a "diet" book, in the typical sense of the word. The author doesn't give you food plans to follow, or tell you to leave out certain food groups. She just motivates you to stick with your own plan, whatever it may be... plain & simple (if you're following hunger-fullness, or doing Weight Watchers, or SouthBeach... anything would work with this book!). And, that's part of why I love it. That, and she is constantly encouraging "hunger-fullness"-style methods (eating only when you're physiologically hungry, stopping when you're satisfied, seeing food as 'fuel', etc).

So, anyway. The good news in all of this is that I've stuck to my guns for the past few days -- even on the weekend (which is a complete miracle for me!) And, I plan to continue! I am now committed, rather than just 'interested'. ;)

I'm re-reading the book, now, day-by-day as it's intended... and I'm doing the journaling exercises daily, too (which are included at the end of each "day"). I'm gonna beat this thing! ;-)

Great Website!

2007-11-17T06:07:00.000-08:00

I just have to recommend this website I found yesterday...

There are tons of motivational resources on there! There's a blog, there's a challenge, there are books you can buy (I own one), and tons of other stuff. If you find yourself stuck in a weight-loss rut, or find that you have trouble keeping on track after you start a program to lose weight, definitely check out this site! You'll be glad you did!

(And, the site is beautifully done! I love the bright colors!) :)

LGC: Week 8

2007-11-14T18:12:00.001-08:00

Another week gone. It's getting closer & closer to Christmas, and then the New Year. Sheesh. :-?

This week saw an increase in my activity level. I read, recently, that just with activity (no eating changes!), you can lose up to a pound a week. And, I set out to "prove" that by increasing my activity level. I sat down last Sunday and mapped out a "plan" for how I could move more each day, and I've done my best to stick to it -- or, some semblance of it, anyway.

Monday found me walking with my DVD. I'd intended to walk 3 miles, but I ended up only doing 2. Fine, though, as I still got in the "movement".

Tuesday I walked to town -- about a 10 minute walk there, and another 10 back.

Today I attempted to go for a bike ride -- was going to bike up to town. But, after getting only 1/2 a block away, I was so much in pain in my calves & thighs, that I just ended up going around the block, and then putting my bike back in the garage, and shaking my head, saying to myself, "WHAT WAS I THINKING?!!!" LOL.
(Biking will have to be reserved for later, when I'm stronger!)

I intend to either use my DVD to walk tomorrow & Friday, or I'll do some major housecleaning ... that counts. ;o) Either way, I'm going to keep up my increased movement. Then, come Saturday, I'll weigh myself, and we'll see how things fared.

As for eating, I did okay for the end of last week, but then the weekend was another "WEAK-end", and Monday found me scrounging for food all day -- grazing, I do believe people call that. Yesterday I was battling myself -- I managed to get through the afternoon without grazing. I had a pudding cup, but that was all. The rest of the day I waited until I was hungry again. ;o)

Today was better, though. It always is when I'm not at home. I have no access to constant food, and therefore I don't eat my afternoons away.

Praying tomorrow and Friday, and ESPECIALLY the weekend!, will be good.

LGC: Week 7

2007-11-04T13:12:00.000-08:00

I'm posting early this week because you never know ... I'm always so behind in posting my updates! I'm trying to be "ahead of the game" this time! Last week I wrote my post on Monday, thinking I'd just write it early, and then I'd get it on Tales From the Scales on time... and --whammo! -- I got sick with the Flu, and wasn't able to put my name in the Mr. Linky until today. LOL. Go figure, eh?

So, here I am, trying to be "early" again, hoping that this Flu bug is mostly gone, and on its way to being completely gone! I'm sick of being sick!

Anyhoo. Small blessings in being sick: I wasn't able to eat for two days, which has given me a sort of "jump-start" (my stomach shrank a bit), and I also wasn't able to get into the Halloween chocolates (thank the Lord!). ;o)

So, this coming week, once I have my strength completely back, I'm going to get back into my walking workouts, and I'm going to make sure to keep taking very small portions at meal times. That will hopefully help me to keep going in the right direction. I also hope to drink my 40oz. of water, daily. I keep hearing how drinking lots of water really helps you with weight loss. So, we'll keep aiming to do that.

Still working on the discipline & self-control, too, of course. ;o)

LGC: Weeks 5 and 6

2007-10-29T10:34:00.000-07:00

Well, I missed my check-in for last week, so this post will have to update ya'll on both weeks 5 & 6.

Week 5 went all right. I got in 2 days of 'formal' exercise (with DVDs), and I walked to town and back a couple of times (about a 1/2 mile). I had one really bad "pig-out" day, but the other days seemed to be all right.

Week 6 has seen a bit of improvement. I've gotten in some yoga, and a couple of 2-mile walks. I had pop and chocolate on the weekend -- when not hungry -- so that wasn't a "beneficial" choice, but oh well. Moving on. ;o)

I've decided to increase my exercise. Instead of only doing 3 days a week, I'm going to try for 4. And, I'm going to make sure to use my weights when I walk. I also want to start getting in some strength-training exercises, using my stability ball, mostly. And, I plan to continue getting in my yoga from time-to-time, too, to work on flexibility.

My main priority is to become more self-controlled & disciplined. More and more, I'm realizing how important these things are, not just in my exercise & eating habits, but in ALL areas of my life. I need some big changes, and they start with those two things.

LGC: Week 4

2007-10-19T08:47:00.000-07:00

Slowly we're making progress. ;o)

I have exercised 2 out of 3 days this week, I've gotten in at least 1/2 of my water on most of the days, and I have been really diligent (for the most part) about ONLY eating when my stomach says it's 'empty'.

Babysteps.

I had a bad day or two the past few days, comparatively, but I'm not letting that get me down. I'm "pressing on", because I know I can "get" this.

The key, this week, has been an article that an online friend shared in our support group. It's all about how overeating is basically "sin"... it's gluttony, which is a "sin of the flesh". For me, this was an eye-opener [Note: Don't miss Part 6 of the article! It's hard to find, if you don't know to look for it!].

I've heard the "Gluttony is sin" speech plenty of times. I even listened to an MP3 by Crystal Munson on Gluttony (which was really powerful, and I recommend it!). But, it didn't hit me quite like this article did.

I'm praying for "new eyes" to see this, and for a "heart change" about this sin. I want God to really make me KNOW this deep in my heart ... that choosing to obey my flesh, rather than heeding the Holy Spirit's guidance, is disobedience, and that's "sin". I need this to be firmly ingrained. I need to get to the point where I DETEST sin... not just go, "Oh, that's something bad...I shouldn't do that".

I also learned, in the same article, that I need to be more self-controlled and disciplined. I'm praying for that, too.

So, here's to a great "Week 5" (my, how time flies, eh?). Babysteps are small, but they're progress, nonetheless! ;-)

PS... A *BIG* thank you to all of those who were praying for me this past week! I so greatly appreciate your prayers & support! It really, truly helps! :o)

LGC: Week 3

2007-10-10T08:48:00.000-07:00

Still not doing well. I'm still pigging out and eating when I'm not *truly* hungry. I even stoop so low as to melt down pb & chocolate-chipits, and eat it straight from the bowl! :-(

I need to change my mindset about things. I'm still in "diet mode", I think. And, that doesn't help. I've been feeling a lot of things lately:

deprived - because I said I was going to "fast" from certain "trigger" foods

stressed - because of the many *big* life changes taking place (new job/etc)

lonely - because God seems to be calling certain people out of my life

hungry - not so much in the physical sense as in the 'spiritual'
(and I keep 'feeding' the physical instead of realizing that's not it)

And so, we press on. I have to pray about all of the above. I can't "fix" this on my own.

LGC: Week 2

2007-10-04T08:59:00.000-07:00

The first part of this past week went terrible. I had a ton of stressful events going on, plus a party to attend, so I ended up eating more than I needed to, and overdoing it with sweets.

But, starting yesterday, I've begun to get back on track. I bought myself a cool water bottle so that I can keep it with me throughout the day -- I got in 40oz. of water, yesterday, and am half-way to that same point already today!

I also got back to exercising today! I walked for 15 minutes, which isn't much, but at least it's a start.

And, for lunch, I had a grilled-cheese sandwich with some raw carrots.

Healthy body, here I come!

LGC: week one

2007-09-27T09:03:00.000-07:00

("Look Great in 2008" Challenge = LGC)

Week one of the Look Great in 2008 Challenge is over, and I'm worse off than when I started. Much as I'm not going to mention anything about my losses, I guess it's okay to say that I went UP in my weight -- by 4 stinking pounds! -- this past week. :-? But, I know it's because I pigged out on chocolate-caramel cakes. Hubby had a 'craving' for them, so we bought the bulk-box (baaaaad idea!), and I finished off most of them. :-(

Also, I haven't really put any effort at all into my weight loss journey this past little while. I've gotten tired of fighting this battle. I'm tired of this being constantly on my mind. I just want out of this crazy cycle.

But, as the title of this blog says, I'm "pressing on"!

I'm not giving up, but I'll be redoubling my efforts. First, I need to put on some "armor".

I have to say, too, that I've been going 'round in circles. I seem to be chasing after that elusive (read: non-existent) "magic cure" for my "problem"... I keep reading books about weight loss, health & nutrition (as evidenced by my last post -- all of the books I've read in the last several years) but I never apply what I read. I just read it, take notes, think "That's a GREAT idea!", and then forget about most of it a week after I set the book aside. :-(

I realized, the other day, that things aren't going to change for me if I don't start putting in some serious effort. As Oprah once said, "Any goal worth reaching always requires HARD WORK."

I have to make a committment to myself, to do what I need to do to get healthy, and to take care of the body God's entrusted to me.

Here's to a new month (soon) of pressing on, and taking steps toward getting healthier! ;)

Health & Fitness Books I've Read

2007-09-26T14:16:00.000-07:00

First Place - Carole Lewis (B)

The Ultimate Weight Solution - Dr. Phil McGraw (B)

Walk Away the Pounds - Leslie Sansone (A)

The G.I. Diet - Rick Gallop (B)

The Weigh Down Diet - Gwen Shamblin (C)

Thin Within - Judy & Arthur Halliday (A)

Overcoming Overeating - Hirschmann / Munter (C)

Fit For Life - Harvey & Marilyn Diamond (C)

Thin People Don't Clean Their Plates - Jill Fleming (B)

Why Weight? - Geneen Roth (B)

Win the Weigh Game - Sarah Ferguson & Weight Watchers (B+)

Intuitive Eating- Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch (A)

The Secrets of Skinny Chicks - Karen Bridson (B+)

Mindless Eating - Brian Wansink (B+)

Back On Track - Carole Lewis (B+)

The Best Life Diet - Bob Greene (B)

The F-Factor Diet - Tanya Zuckerbrot (C)

The Portion Teller - Lisa R. Young (B+)

Fattitudes - Jeffrey & Norean Wilbert (A-)

Eat Smart, Walk Strong - Leslie Sansone (B+)

Thin Within [non-Christian version] - Judy Wardell (B)

The Sugar Solution - Sari Harrar & Prevention Magazine (B)

Look Great, Feel Great - Joyce Meyer (B+)

Get With the Program - Bob Greene (B-)

Look Great challenge - Goals

2007-09-20T17:08:00.000-07:00

Well, the challenge has begun. And, already I'm off to a slow start. Due to a silly (but, thankfully small!) injury, I've not been able to start in with my exercise like I'd planned. And, I've not really done anything with my eating habits, yet, either.

Irregardless, I'm still going to "press on". ;o)

For the challenge, I plan to:

* drink more water
(keeping a water bottle with me throughout the day; drinking at set times when I already do other things... trying to "link" them so it becomes habit)

* consistently exercise
(walking, etc. for 30 minutes, at least 3 times per week)

* follow my hunger cues
(eat only when physiologically hungry, and stop before "stuffed")

* let God lead
(trust that He knows what's best; stop giving in to my own whims)

* get enough sleep
(seven or more hours a night would be best)

* keep snacks to a minimum
(90% of the time I should choose "healthy"; the other 10% can be indulgence)

* eat more fruits, veggies & whole grains
(I don't eat near enough, so I need to make this a habit)

* watch my portion sizes
(already use a smaller plate, but tend to pile it... gotta watch that!)

So, hopefully next week I can get back to exercising Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays. And, I'm going to start tomorrow morning with the other bits. There is no excuse. I am the only person standing in the way of my reaching my goals.

Oh, and just for the record, my goal is to be at least 15 pounds lighter by the end of the challenge... but, I can't record my progress in that area, so you'll just have to guess by whether my posts are full of "progress" or "stuck-ness". ;-P

Look Great in 2008 Challenge

2007-09-15T17:45:00.000-07:00

I've not been successful with other weight loss challenges in the past, but that doesn't mean I won't keep trying!

And, to that effect, I'm joining in on the new "Look Great in 2008 Challenge" hosted by Tales From the Scales.

The challenge goes from September 19th, 2007 -to- January 11, 2008. All you have to do is post every week about your progress, and "check in" at the Tales From the Scales website every Tuesday (sign your name on the Mr. Linky).

I'll be posting here, to this blog, about my progress, weekly. But, a word of warning: I will not be posting my weight ... meaning, I cannot post whether I've gone UP or DOWN on the scale. It's a "God-thing".... So, thank you for understanding. ;o)

Rest assured, though, there will be plenty of other things for me to write about, and for you to read. ;-P

I dare you to join in the challenge! ;P

TBR: "Fit From Within"

2007-09-14T07:49:00.000-07:00

"Fit From Within" by Victoria Moran

Book Description (from Amazon):
"Each year, Americans invest more time, more energy, and more money--$33 billion! --trying to lose weight. Yet, the rates of obesity and related illnesses, such as diabetes and heart disease, continue to climb at an alarming pace. Statistically, heroin addicts have better odds of kicking their habit than food junkies do of kicking theirs. After decades of crash dieting and self-recrimination, Victoria Moran chanced upon a very basic truth about weight loss that allowed her to lose 60 pounds and keep it off for 17 years and counting. In Fit from Within, she shares with you what she learned and outlines a complete mind-body approach to attaining and maintaining your ideal weight.

Writing with the sensitivity of one who's been there, she helps you to understand and confront the emotional and spiritual roots of your unhealthy relationship with food and to make the personal transformation from a prisoner of food to being free to live a happier, healthier, more fulfilling life."

I heard about this book, the other day, in a group I'm in online. A friend had posted a chapter or so from the book, and it had me curious. So, I went and looked it up on Amazon, and found out that I'm VERY interested in reading more of it! Now the book is on my wishlist, and I'm planning to buy a copy in a couple of weeks. ;)

Toward the Prize

2007-09-12T14:04:00.000-07:00

This is going to be a place for me to just ramble about my weight loss efforts. I strive to be healthier so that I can be there for my family, but I also desire to be thinner, too. Somewhere there's a balance -- not having to give up everything I want, but also choosing the best options along the way.

I believe in the "everything in moderation" philosophy, so I will not restrict. That only makes me crave things more. I also know that there have to be some limits. Move more, eat less... that's my current motto.